Oklahoma!

40 145 minutes of good clean wholesome all-American fun.

Blogista: Welllll... there's interesting.

Readers: What is?

Blogroll: Joachim von Ribbentrop.

Readers: German Ambassador to Great Britain 1936, Foreign Minister 1938, broker of the Pact of Steel with Italy in May 1939 and the Ribbentrop-Molotov Pact with the Soviet Union in August 1939... what of him?

Bloggeddose:: Well, his name apparently means "ribcage" in German.

Readers: No it doesn't.

Blogbooking:  No. You're right. It doesn't. Still, rather macabre, though, eh what?

Fun Personality Test

Conundrum:

• you are long-term unemployed, income £72 per week;
• your bedsit is cold and draughty enough in the summer, never mind mid-winter;
• the thermals aren't helping much, have got smelly and make you feel like a retired trapper;
• Radio 4 has long ago become unbearable, Radio 3 is doing something altogether too tootly, isolation in silence is demoralising.

Do you:

a) turn on the heating for a while to take the edge off the chill and tune into Magic FM because it is your ex-girlfriend's favourite station?

b) head down the local J D Wetherspoon late afternoon and stay drinking doubles until closing time, with a hail-fellow-and-well-met for all of your Wetherspoon friends and a bottle of Famous Grouse in your coat pocket for that all-night central heating effect, thus every day for 10 months?

c) return, defeated once again, to Alcoholics Anonymous, where the coffee, biscuits and welcomes are free, for ninety meetings in ninety days?

You answered:

a) you are perhaps a little sentimental, but fundamentally sane.

b) and c) you are me and already knew the answer because you devised the Test.

Another 55 for the Chertiozhnik Death List

 A needy attention-seeking twat pictured today.













Sir Terry Pratchett is excused on the grounds of being a genius and writing books that have much amused your Leader-in-Waiting (see my autobiography "Chertiozhnik, the Wilderness Years: Yes, All Fifty-Six of Them").

But the rest... are the other signatories to this letter in the Daily Telegraph where they argue that they are sooo noteworthy that they really ought to be on some sort of list or other. Well, now they are muahahahaha.

Professor Jim Al-Khalil
Philip Pullman
Tim Minchin
Dr Simon Singh
Ken Follett
Dr Adam Rutherford
Sir John Sulston
Sir David Smith
Professor Jonathan Glover
Professor Anthony Grayling
Nick Ross
Virginia Ironside
Professor Steven Rose
Natalie Haynes
Peter Tatchell
Professor Raymond Tallis
Dr Iolo ap Gwynn
Stephen Volk
Professor Steve Jones
Sir Terry Pratchett
Dr Evan Harris
Dr Richard Bartle
Sian Berry
C J De Mooi
Professor John A Lee
Professor Richard Norman
Zoe Margolis
Joan Smith
Michael Gore
Derek McAuley
Lorraine Barratt
Dr Susan Blackmore
Dr Harry Stopes-Roe
Sir Geoffrey Bindman QC
Adele Anderson
Dr Helena Cronin
Professor Alice Roberts
Professor Chris French
Sir Tom Blundell
Maureen Duffy
Baroness Whitaker
Lord Avebury
Richard Herring
Martin Rowson
Tony Hawks
Peter Cave
Diane Munday
Professor Norman MacLean
Professor Sir Harold Kroto
Sir Richard Dalton
Sir David Blatherwick
Michael Rubenstein
Polly Toynbee
Lord O'Neill
Dr Simon Singh
Dan Snow

If your heart, despite a big lift from Sir Terry, has not sunk into your boots by now... then I suggest you haven't actually read the whole list.

Ancora da capo! And no slacking this time.